Getting Married.

When is the right time to get married ?? Legally speaking , its 18 yrs  for girls , but socially  speaking when you complete your education… and when you start working … it’s the high time !!!!! So, who will decide when you should get married??? your long lost aunties .. who were no where to be seen till now or your already panicking parents?? Who ?? The first question you ask yourself ….  Do you really want to get married?? I mean, yeah you like to dress up and all, you would definitely like to put some of your snaps on social media … but are these reasons enough to suffice for marriage. Sharing your space, your cupboard  , your bed …. !!! isn’t it scary ???

Everyone gets married, everyone should get married. Even you don’t want to challenge this long held institution, you will also get married.  You remember the spinster who used to live on the corner of
the street near your childhood home. You definitely don’t want to be like her. So you will get married
 The day you were born, the life of your parents became all about you, your upbringing, your health, your education and most importantly now your wedding. A beautiful opportunity for them to show off.. Their lifelong savings. You also know … that they have saved this money only for your wedding. That’s why they bluntly refused to give you money for the international trip you wanted to go on with your friends. They are proud that  they have a decent looking tall girl , with decent everything  and of course  with all those ‘sankars’ they think they have embedded in you. You know how to cook. But within you know  may be your brother can eat half cooked noodles for you that may not be the case at your in-laws house.

They think you will make an amazing wife and daughter- in- law. Alas, they have no idea about the magnitude of alleged “kukarmas” you have committed, the guys you have dated and sometimes dumped, the alcohol, the smoke  and the night outs, and of course they can’t even imagine that you were an active participant  in the go green movement and a gold medalist in the inter school Kabadi championship.  It’s a dream for your mother to see you in red lehanga, apart from other dreams also  like, scoring good , getting into good college, getting a “sarkari naukari”. You think, you don’t even like red colour.  But you will get married because you love your parents and you want them to be happy.

 Suddenly, you feel that the entire objective, purpose aim etc  of your existence is to find a  man , make his home and bear him children.  And the questions like .. who are you ?? what do you want from life ?? gets dim. The man in this story is very important.  He should be a trophy ..Right ??   So that everyone will keep talking about him and your counterparts will be jealous. Questions like is he sensitive? is he trustworthy? suddenly loose its importance.  
And love! That an extravagant luxury!! who says it is required??? Its just the hormones. And Indian women are bound to love the man who is chosen  by their parents. That vermilion colored powder has some magic, you guess. 
But all said and done may be you even want to get married, deep down the core and you also know that. True that at one point of life having a new person often was always an awesome, adventure with a lot of hormones again. But you have grown out of that phase. Now coming back to same person every night, knowing that  someone will be by your side no matter what happens is  the world’s most beautiful feeling.  But who and when??? Its destiny. These hue and cry wont help because in the end its your life. You don’t want to settle down, you just want a person with whom you can share adventure of life !!!!! You certainly don't need a trophy!

P.S This post has been contributed by a guest blogger and a dear friend Shephali Choudhury...You can Know more about her at:

https://www.facebook.com/shefali.choudhary.7?ref=ts&fref=ts