DREAMS, DESIRE, DESTINY

Not only was she all set to plunge into meandering and aslant womanhood, on that day, she was also preparing herself to swim across the huge freshwater pond before her. She had her hair nicely made up by her mother. Her beautiful multi-coloured dupatta was no less colourful than the dreams that found home in her eyes. And on that day she had been a source of envy to many of her kid-women friends as she had chosen that special day to apply her expensive blue kajal too. Ohh!! Her eyes could be easily mistaken for a pair fresh lilies. It was after all her birthday!!! And it was time to celebrate some very good years of life, happiness and energy.

Dressing up on the special day had taken her several hours. It was certainly not the best way to celebrate by getting wet after jumping into some unknown muddy and reed filled pond. But what made sense and what did not make sense were issues of very trivial importance that day. Standing on the stairs she was smitten by the beauty of that flawlessly white lotus at a farther end of the pond. It was a chilly day. A thick cloud in the sky had concealed the sun in it arm like some passionate and possessive lover.  But it was as if she was standing on some magical altar where only history is written heroines are born and tales are immortalized. She looked like a Goddess for sure. But nothing in the surrounding caught her interest. She was blinded by her desire to pluck the lotus and make it hers.

Given on her amateur swimming skills she could not care less for was a practically possibility and what could lead to a silly fiasco. For her, now there was only that flower at the centre of the entire universe. A mild breeze that brushed off a troublesome stray strand of hair also made the lotus float closer for a while. Ohh…how badly she needed that flower!! Ironically, she had no idea what she would do with it after she had acquired it and there was absolutely no acceptable rationale behind her lunatic urge. The pond was blessed with a fair share of flora. There were many colourful flowers at reachable distances but why she wanted only that flower was beyond any mortal’s understanding.  Just as the burgeoning obsession in her was proudly vanquishing over her fragile rationality, another strong gush of wind passed. But this time it swept the lotus away. Enough!! She couldn’t wait more. She glibly dived into the water.

This was not like the swimming pool where her trainer trained her with all care and caution and where she knew she would be rescued if things go wrong. She was after all amidst the wildness of nature where only the fit ones survive. Yellow! Yellow! Yellow! Everywhere….Saltiness all around…and the frightening calmness…. Her heart shivered….But she quickly silenced it’s cries of fear. She was determined to satiate her desire. She finally made it to her destination. But alas! The lotus just won’t come near her. Every time she proceeded towards it would just float away. Being a Hydrophyte, the lotus plant has tiny Arenchymas in it’s stem to keep it light and always afloat. It was not as easy to grab it as it appeared to her when she was on the stairs. A complete misevaluation of risks….. wild plants that could coil around her limbs thereby immobilizing her. Poisonous snakes are also not uncommon near such a flower. But little by little she plunged further but to no avail.  But suddenly she was pulled down deep into the water by some great force from underneath. She fought hard and harder but only to sink in deeper. She kicked with all force. She tried to shout. She lifted her hand. But nothing could save her now.

Then suddenly she became very tired drained of all will power and strength. She submitted to the behemoth force. Pain became pleasure. She for the first and last time learnt how to enjoy pain. She realized that her pain was the proof of life within her. For dead men never wince in pain. Her submission settled the frenzy that was troubling since a long time. There was nothing to be acquired now, nothing to be proved and nothing to be won now. She was no longer the heroine. And pleasantly, it felt good to be not the heroine. Blurred memories of that lotus gave way to an intense darkness and she went into a sound slumber.