Saturday, December 29, 2012

I AM A WICKED GIRL.


I was a 5-year old not so cute but a zealous and energetic standard one kid then. The mood was so festive and a few leisure classes gave immense happiness to each bundle of joy in the class. A diverse class it was. Some kids were fair, some were dark. Some had an adorable smile while some managed a subtle laughter. Some had the most designer school bags while some carried the modest local made bags. Some used the plain wooden pencils whereas some had those multicoloured fancy instruments of graphite to write with.
On that joyous day, the teacher had already announced that the students who will play the various characters for the annual day play were to be picked up that day. Anxiously, I was waiting for the moment to come. There will be days of rehearsals where only some selected kids would be allowed to miss boring classes and practice and then on the D day students would be dressed like angels only to be loved and adored by the audience. How vividly I remembered the previous year’s program. Lost in the crowd I had longed be the princes on the stage who had sparkling wings and a dazzling crown. Just as I was lost in my thoughts, the teacher walked in and handpicked some kids and walked away saying that the casting was over. I was not selected. My castles hopes dismantled and tears filled my eyes. I was inconsolable. But nobody cared. While returning home, I kept on wondering why I was not picked up.  I could speak fluently and memorize fairly. I had managed a fair score in the exams too. Why was I destined to be the audience again? Was it because I was not cute? Or was it because of that horrible cold that had resulted excessive nasal mucus? Was it because I had short hair or I was fat?  What after all was the god damn reason? But eventually a huge cup of butterscotch ice cream distracted my thoughts and brought a smile on my lips.
A little more than a decade and a half later I m faced with a similar situation. My ideas and perfectly rationalized propositions get dismissed without any acceptable reason. The truth seems unpalatable to so many but without a reason. We as human beings have an IQ between 70 to 130 and a team of neurons with very agile axons and dendrites to process information. Why not use this gift and rationalize opinions instead of madly ranting about. Why can’t we let ideas flow into our usually garbage filled heads and get them processed once and then decide whether to accept is or dismiss it?
I have developed an intense dislike for all those easy going people who don’t have the courage to face an idea in its truest sense but certainly have the audacity the scorn it and demean it. Yes, today I am wicked girl and care the least for people who don’t value my dreams and ideas. I am the mother, the friend and the propeller of my dreams and ideas. Therefore, I will protect them till the end. Just as that teacher didn’t know what my make was, even today no mortal except me knows about my ability to prove my worth. I shed a drop of tear and offer my condolences for all those who don’t dream and have failed to learn how to respect other’s dreams. But the truth is the truth and will always be paramount. If one chooses to believe that he or she can thrive in paradise of ignorance…..well there is not much that I can do about.
But being a wicked girl, it is my policy to never forgive and never forget. But what could possible play the role of that butterscotch cup today???

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