Pain, Passion and Honour.

The intellect by which one cannot distinguish between what is right and wrong, between what should be and what shouldn’t be done is in mode of passion. Lord Krishna; chapter 18 line 31: The Bhahgwad Gita.

It’s been two months since I wrote down my last blog, but the confusion still continues. A few days ago, in spite of my best efforts, I failed to figure out whether my activities were right or wrong. At that point of time I decided to follow my inner voice and just do things. ‘Pleasure’ was my answer to every question that popped up in my head as to whether I should do it or not. I thought this particular act of mine is pleasurable so let me do it. Something in me told me that probably it was the best thing in the world...probably life will never give me an opportunity to do such things again. May be the reason for my existence revolves around those acts of mine. Passionately I just did it.

But there was one important thing that I forgot. Pleasure has a perpetual companion and that is pain. I remember the first story of the first story book that my Dad bought for me when I was a kid. It was a story about the earthen pot and the copper pot that were lost in a flood. When the earthen pot was asked to go near the copper pot, it denied. It was because any close proximity between both the objects would amount to the destruction of the earthen pot in case they collide. The problem here is that not all earthen pots are as intelligent as this one. Some collide and get shattered. And then all that remains is pain. I was attracted to the flame like an insect does, and ultimately the fire in the flame consumed me.

In the course of events, there is one thing that I have realised, irrespective of how many books one reads or how many lessons one takes, real wisdom comes only when one experiences. Only when life kicks one hard, one realises how important it is to always do the right thing and not to get carried away by passion.

As woman, I have always believed that I should live life with honour and with dignity. And for doing that I should always act responsibly. My activities should be calculated enough so that other people don’t get a chance to inflict insult on me or take me lightly. The ball should always be in my court. Life should always be in my control. Moreover, my existence should not be dependent on others. One fact of life that cannot be ignored in any case is that, more than love, more than pleasure and more than everything else in life what is more important is to live life with honour with respect.  For this, the first and foremost thing that one has to do is to respect oneself. Because as they say, respect yourself and the world will respect you.

The pain that is emanating from the core of my heart today is not to be taken as a source of tears or sorrow. I will indeed make it a source of wisdom. It is this pain that will refine my way of life and it is this pain that shall perpetually remind me that I just can’t afford to act irresponsibly. Pain makes a person tougher and better. Hopefully, the next ray of sunlight that will fall on this part of the world shall find a better and a tougher I in me.

Soumya

Bhubaneswar

19th May 2011